2023-2024:
Junior Year

          After a challenging sophomore year, I was very nervous about starting my junior year. I had doubts about who I would be with and what I would be doing. Though I no longer felt unhappy with myself, I was still scared of being alone. As my junior year approached, I began the process of applying for a semester abroad, a dream of mine since before I had even started college. During that time, I viewed the fall semester as a waiting period before embarking on the journey of a lifetime in Spain, effectively wishing those months away and believing that being abroad would solve all my problems. However, I never could have predicted that the fall semester would become one of my best yet. I had so much fun making friends with people I never thought I would connect with and becoming involved in organizations I had previously been too shy to. I felt like my pieces in life were finally starting to come together again, and I no longer felt alone. I was utterly happy and content. Though the fall semester started as an unknown, it ended up being an amazing time filled with fond memories.

          Eventually, January arrived, and I had to face the bittersweet reality of leaving behind the new friends and relationships I had just formed. "Would things be the same?", "Was going abroad a mistake?" are questions I was asking myself. Studying abroad, once something I had eagerly anticipated, began to fill me with nerves and doubts. Again, I felt scared to jump into a semester full of unknowns and perhaps even more anxious to come back. At first, I found myself wishing away the time I had looked forward to for so long, out of fear of losing what I had just gained. However, without even realizing it, I made amazing friends, created lasting memories, and experienced things many people never get to do. When it was finally time to come back, I realized that I no longer held the same anxiety as before and was embracing the next step in my life. I finally stopped wishing away parts of my life out of fear and began to realize the joy of living in the present.

          Enjoying experiences as they happen rather than worrying about the future is a lesson that has been hard to learn. While this is something I am still working on, my past is evidence that jumping into the unknown and setting aside anxieties about the future is crucial to enjoying the present. Despite my fears, both semesters ended up being uniquely amazing, and I would not change a thing. As I look to my senior year and even post-graduation, I have more clarity and confidence that things will happen as they are meant to happen. Though I cannot control everything, I can control my reactions, something I will continue to keep in mind throughout the course of my life.